


After Years Of Yearning

by peachyblush



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Past Bully, Mentions of Underage Drinking & Sex, alcohol consumption, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 12:15:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11013234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachyblush/pseuds/peachyblush
Summary: Jongin is whipped for Yifan. Whipped.





	After Years Of Yearning

**Author's Note:**

> pls note that both nini and fan are 19 here. also, the prompt was sO me and my (soft™) girlfriend; i low-key based it off my imagination of how we would be if we were physically together (andnotmillionsofmilesaway) i hope you like it! a big thank to my girlfriend for beta-ing and some lines there are quoted from her, and also the prompter for this gr8 prompt i hope you enjoy this and are not disappointed, dear prompter! ♥ (this turned out to be longer than what I expected but i'm happy and this is also the longest fic I've written so far I'm proud ♥)

Jongin rethinks every decision he has taken with Yifan. All of them. From being a rebel on certain nights and talking to Yifan till it was past their bedtimes, ending the call with ‘We’re the most rebellious kids in the whole world,’ to hooking up with someone and having a threesome.

Especially having the threesome. He stared at Yifan’s body shamelessly (shame was drained from his mind as alcohol entered his system), muffling his moans, all he could think of and say was _ Yifan Yifan Yifan Yifan Yifan _ , even though he wasn’t touching the said male.

Jongin wonders when that happened. Falling in love with his best friend instead of his actual boyfriend, who is definitely everyone’s ‘The One.’

It’s when he and Kyungsoo have a talk about their future, that he realizes he’s a little too head over heels for Yifan. And Kyungsoo points it out, as if it doesn’t hurt him (even though he cries once Jongin admits his feelings for his best friend). They’re on good terms, still helping each other out with homeworks, covering classes, letting Jongin rant about how Yifan’s doings drive him crazy sometimes and Kyungsoo’s small cooking experiments. (He’s horrible at it, but improving.)

Yifan drops his head on Jongin’s shoulder, sighing. “Tired.”

“Of course you are,” the shorter scoffs, “You  _ ran _ to the airport when there were many taxis you could’ve rode.”

They both are sitting on couch, watching La La Land (which is their post-break-up movie) with Korean subtitles. The tanned male can tell his best friend needs a little of trigger to cry. Yifan thinks himself of the manly person (he is), and fails to let his stress out through tears when he doesn’t have his piano to slam his fists on.

“That’s romantic, Jongin.” Jongin makes a gagging noise which is ignored. “Running to your boyfriend who is about to leave to your homeland, and kissing him goodbye and leaving the airport with sweet memories of your ex. That’s great.”

Jongin pats his best friend’s cheek, focusing on the movie playing. It takes just two minutes (Jongin counts, he always does) for Yifan to start crying, sobbing, wiping his running nose from his t-shirt’s sleeve, choking on some sobs, whispering how he thought him and Tao would marry and how the world is the most unfair place in the universe.

When the intermission flashes on the screen, they pause the video. Yifan is silent, he is just breathing loudly, bottom lip tugged out. He whispers, “If I still haven’t found anyone till I’m thirty, will you marry me?”

“Ew. No.” Jongin’s heart disagrees, it’s a little too excited for that. “You’re such a hopeless romantic. I’d rather marry my dog.”

On cue, Jongin’s dog barks, wagging it’s tail excitedly upon being mentioned and climbs up Yifan’s lap, curling into a cute fluff ball. (Jongin sulks at the thought of leaving him back at his home tomorrow.) Yifan laughs. “You’ll be a lucky guy, dude. I’ll be writing stuff and going to my office to capture some ideas and you’ll either be in the house, doing your architect thing or in your studio, teaching dance to cute kids. We’d be goals, you nerd.  _ Marry me _ .”

It’s the most normal thing for Yifan to say after a breakup. That’s the only time he talks about them being together, being goals, or their relationship in general. It’s he who always brings up their friendship, because it’s him who is madly in love with the Chinese boy, it’s him who has been calling his mad love as a crush and living with it. (He plans to call it a crush his whole life if he doesn’t get brave enough to call it love.)

Jongin goes along with it. “Yeah, you’ll be the best seller and I’ll be the best dancer and we’ll tell our kids how we first met at a movie theater’s toilet, and that you called me in the stall just to close the door.”

“I was new to the place!” Yifan sulks, it’s such a contrast to his resting bitch-face. “The restroom locks in China were different, all right.”

“And you were six, barely knew Korean and definitely not a tall bastard.”

They start the movie again. They never completed conversations properly (Jongin doubts their conversations will ever stop if they aren’t busy with something else), it always ends with a silent glance at the clock. Or something else. They know their normal end of conversations: Lots of tears, lots of cursing old bullies and a little drunk without alcohol consumption.

La La Land used to be (and still is) Yifan’s favorite, he always chose that during movie nights in the Sophomore and Junior year of high school and Jongin naturally started to understand why. Though it’s not easy to put the feelings and thoughts it words. (It’s Yifan’s work. He’s the writer between them.)

“ _ Someone In the Crowd _ is my anthem,” the Chinese male says, looking away from the screen. He still can’t watch the angsty part without tearing up. “Because you never know. Someone in the crowd actually might be your ‘The One.’”

Jongin merely nods his head.

He peeks at Kris occasionally throughout the movie. His heart breaks everytime he catches the other gulp down a sob, but he gives his best friend the space.

They have this invisible, paper-thin border which they never think of crossing. It’s not a personal space border (personal space does not exist since Jongin likes walking into a Chinese shower-singer a lot, and Yifan does not like sleeping alone at night; he is a cuddler, arm around waist, leg thrown over another, nose nuzzled in hair).

It’s… just something they’ve crossed before, they still regret doing it.

Probably talking about bullies, or being bullied or bullying in general. Along with synonyms of outcast. Yifan was bullied for his language skills by the other boys in their class, Jongin was far too coward to stand up for the small eleven years old Chinese boy. Once his best friend was no longer bullied, he became a victim for two days.

His best friend was picked on because the kids were jealous. He was got picked because of his skin colour. He had got tanned naturally, he loved summer that time, loved the sunlight seeping into his skin and he played a lot of soccer.

Jongin glances at Yifan’s rings. He wears two metal rings, one on the right middle finger and other on the right ring finger. Ever since he had come back from a small trip, he’s seen those rings on those slender fingers. They aren’t anything special. They’re stainless steel, probably 6,000 Won each - no more than 8,000 Won though - they don’t even have anything written on them.

He has questioned about them couple of times; all he got was ‘nothing special, really.’

Yifan yawns. “Jjongie, can I please, please sleep?”

Jongin tries not to laugh, and nods softly. “Of course, Fanfan.”

“You’re disgusting when you’re domestic,” Yifan comments. He changes his position: Legs on the couch’s armrest, head on Jongin’s lap, hands hanging down. “But I like that.”

“Are you confessing your domestic-husband-roleplay fetish? After all these years?”

“Something like that.”

They both laugh for wonderful four minutes before they fall asleep, with the credits rolling down, and Yifan serene. Jongin fighting his heart so it stays in his chest and doesn’t beat so loudly.

***

Jongin hates Chemistry class. The professor is a grumpy old man, who definitely hates him. He nudges Kyungsoo, whispering, “Take notes for me, please.”

Kyungsoo sighs. “This is the last time, okay?”

“Promise.”

With that, Jongin opens his sketch book. He has not completed the drawing project, he’s most likely to fail in extra-curriculars if he doesn’t submit it today. (And there are series horrible of events which occur after a long lecture on importance of extra-curriculars.)

He draws two figures, a typical girl and boy, they’re a little away, hands touching but not quite there. When the drawing is completed, he makes light circles where things need to be changed and closes the book. It’s snatched away.

Jongin looks up and winces. It’s his professor, the grumpy old man who hates him. “Jongin.”

He stands up panickingly and bows. “I’m sorry, sir!”

“Sorry is not what I need!” Professor yells, “How far are your finals, huh? Three more weeks! Instead of paying attention and taking notes like your seatmate does, you’re finishing this stupid drawing! This is unacceptable!”

Jongin is asked to visit him after the school.

***

“This is  _ unacceptable _ !” Jongin mocks, his hands crooked, mouth open and making a turkey neck, he makes sure to use a gibberish speech. “ _ I need youh to visth my offieh! Aftah school _ !”

Kris is leaning against the bathroom door, his laugh is high-pitched, he wheezes sometimes. Jongin relaxes, sighing. “That fucking professor, I swear, dude.”

Yifan is still wheezing like a dog, but his mind gets creative. He imagines his best friend abruptly stopping his laughter (or slowly, however it’s done in the movies and dramas), he imagines the small tension between them, Yifan getting closer and closer, till they both can hear each other’s breathing, till all they can do is stare into each other’s eyes.

Taller would probably hold onto his waist, gracefully pull him closer (as gracefully as those awkwardly long limbs can manage), another hand sneakily resting on Jongin’s ass, but not squeezing. Jongin’s heart is beating in his ears, the thought continues. Kris would softly whisper, “Please tell me you’ve eaten mint.” and kiss him.

Some would find it disgusting, kissing his best friend and all. Jongin somewhat agrees, he’s seen Yifan at his worst (drunk, vomit on legs, sobbing in an ugly manner), but that makes Yifan a little more cute than he already is.

His lips would be soft, Jongin thinks,  _ they better be or I’ll drag Tao back here and whoop his ass. That bastard shared a lot about their relationship anyway _ .

“What, dreaming about getting your ass kicked by Professor Grumpy?”

Jongin glances at his best friend, he’s stopped laughing, but he’s still smiling widely. He chooses to ignore the question. “Your smile makes  _ my  _ cheeks hurt.”

“You beg me to smile like this.” Yifan winks.

Unfortunately, yes. Smiling Kris is the most adorable piece of shit, Jongin hates him so much, his heart aches.

***

After that one image of kissing Yifan, his mind makes it a habit to imagine how-it-would-be-to-date-Wu-Yifan. Everyday, at the most random moments, Jongin ends up with burning ears, stomach twisting and a hope that image becoming reality blooms in his heart.

“Hey, Jjongie!” Yifan is already more than tipsy, he hiccups, a drunk smile on his face. “You know, I-  _ hicc!-  _ thought Tao, Ha-  _ hicc!-  _ Huang Zitao. My Taozi-  _ hicc!-  _ is- would be the person I’d marry. But, no. He isn’t the one I’m going to marry.”

Jongin is a little tipsy, and maybe that’s why Yifan’s fucking stupid lips look really pink and attractive. Kris rolls on his stomach, taking another sip of whiskey. “Man-  _ hicc!- _ He’s really something. I wish he was my something.”

He curses his best friend and his connections. Alcohol is not allowed in the dorms, not even in the campus boundaries, but Kris is the attractive social butterfly with many connections both in and outside the boundaries, he usually gets wine from ‘insiders’. But today, Kris had said, _ I want to wake up with hangover, I feel like shit _ .

Yifan is already shit. Jongin hates him so much.

“You, Kim-  _ hicc!- _ why am I hiccupping so much? Am I drunk, Jjongie?”

“You’re calling me Jjongie, Fanfan.”

The said male grumbles in a cute manner. “You called me  _ Fanfan _ .”

“I did.” He admits, and sips the whiskey. It tastes bitter, it doesn’t burn his throat, however. It makes him feel better. Bolder. “I like fueling your fetish of domestic-husband-roleplay.”

Yifan giggles. Jongin hates himself for loving the sound. “How  _ evil _ of you, Jjongie. How do I-  _ hicc!- _ stop this though?”

“I don’t know.”

“Very helpful, Kim Jongin. That’s why I love you. No homo--  _ wait _ ,” Kris grins to himself and looks up at Jongin, tossing the plastic cup away.

He rolls on his back and looks at the ceiling. “I’m gay. You’re gay. We’re gay. Everyone’s gay, Jjongie. Full homo it is, then. I love you, full homo. ‘You can make out with me right now,’ that type of homo, dude.”

Jongin considers it. Abandoning the drink in his hand, straddling Kris’s lap and pulling him up, by grabbing his t-shirt, connecting their lips, hands roaming every and maybe (if they’re weird enough), anyone of them would start grinding.

It’s most likely Jongin who would, because he’s either the full-on, heated sex person or cuddly, soft person when drunk. And right now, he could totally have an orgasm by Yifan’s fingers  _ on _ his ass alone.

“Babe, babe, you’re going to be eighteen next year, what’s the first thing you wanna do?”

Drunk Yifan is talkative, Jongin giggles,  _ and I like that. Even if he doesn’t remember that I’m already nineteen. _

***

“It’s now or never, Jongin.”

Jongin frowns. Kyungsoo was over to help him with Chemistry, but he seems more interested in Jongin’s feelings for his best friend. Kyungsoo continues his speech. “You guys are going to different colleges-”

“I know, I know!” He yells. “I know that! Okay? I’ve been thinking about it, too. How the fuck am I supposed to tell him that, though? ‘Hey, dude, listen. I’m in love with you and I want to date your dumb ass?’ yeah, sounds great.”

Kyungsoo laughs. “That’d be great, just a suggestion.”

“It’s not funny!” Jongin whines, and pouts (it’s just an attempt to melt his friend’s heart and help him instead of laughing). “I really want to, and I need some tips.”

“You’ve been best friends for years, he probably knows something’s up with you already, Jongin. How hard is it to tell your feelings to him?”

A lot, Jongin wants to say,  _ It’s so fucking hard to tell my feelings to that nerd _ .

It may sound a very mainstream doubt, nevertheless, it is present in him. Confessing is not a problem, asking him out is. When he tells someone that he likes them, it indirectly means,  _ ‘since I like you, I’ll be staring at you for a long time and smile, don’t mind that, maybe smile back if you want.’ _

But, asking out means commitment, and also impressing. He sucks at the latter the most. (Wu Yifan is always here to save the day, though. He’s great with both.)

Jongin closes his textbook and stares at Kyungsoo for a while. Then he takes a deep breath, saying, “any idea how I impress him?”

Kyungsoo looks like he’s done with Jongin. “ _ You _ are the one who is supposed to know. Haven’t you given some girls tips on how to impress Kris? You even helped Tao.”

“Well, yeah,” He sighs. “But I knew their traits which would… I don’t know, maybe, help them? So I just pointed them out and told them how to show it. I don’t even have any idea what Yifan likes about me.”

“Dude, listen. You’re his best friend, that means he’ll find everything you do either impressive or dumb. And even the dumbest things will be impressive. Because you’re best friends, for fuck’s sake, Jong, at least confess.”

***

It’s nighttime, Jongin is waiting for Yifan to join the bed.

He thinks about what Kyungsoo had told him earlier this afternoon, it kind of stresses him, the thought of asking Yifan out.

The wine usually helps with his stress, with his thoughts of Kris late night, with everything which seems superficial. However, today, it just fuels every negativity in him. There are two possible things, before and after confession. He has three scenes in his mind:

A) He does not confess his love for Wu Yifan and live with the heartache, pretend he’s happy for Yifan’s relationships (he is, when the person is as good as Tao), live a miserable, one-sided love life till he finds a perfect person, who’ll make him forget his crush on Kris ever existed. They’d go to different colleges, and therefore, their conversations will decrease and slowly, almost like a slow burn story, they’ll walk away from each other. And one fine day, they will bump into each other, and everything would come down rushing to him like a trainwreck.

B) He confesses his love to Kris, but his best friend rejects him. Politely, saying he doesn’t feel any romantic feelings towards Jongin and he’d continue finding his soulmate, or ‘The One’. Soon, when Yifan is in another relationship, he’d find Jongin’s presence bothering, because he can feel Jongin’s eyes on them, even if it’s occasional. They’d soon fight like mad dogs with rabies and never see each other’s faces.

C) He confesses and Yifan kisses him, like in those movies. They go to different colleges, but still stay in touch, go on dates when possible. They finally will know that they’re soulmates when Jongin takes Yifan to the sappiest date in the whole world and the tall dude would still smile like an idiot. They will live a ‘Happily Ever After’.

The only thing is, Jongin finds that third scene childish; weird, even.

An arm wraps around his waist, Yifan’s long leg is thrown on his legs. The Chinese boy is tensed from washing dishes, his tired voice whispers. “What’re you thinking about?” 

“Future.”

Kris snorts. “We haven’t even finished High School, Jongin. We’re nearly twenty, got the whole life ahead of us.”

“Still worrying.”

“Hey,” The arm around his waist moves upward, and a newly-dried hand cups his right cheek. “Tell me about it.”

Jongin thinks it’s the time for the confession. He should spill out every possible thought which comes to his mind, and they should end up making-out till both are too sleepy to continue. Not bad, he thinks,  _ not bad at all. But, not now _ . No, he needs a little time to think about it.

“I’m... worried. That we won’t be best friends once we’re in college. You’re going into the Arts, I’m taking up Science. What if we stop talking and end up being strangers again? There’s a lot more, but this is what the most.”

“We’ll figure that out, Jongin,” Yifan nuzzles his nose right below Jongin’s ear, blowing there a little as a comforting gesture. (It’s not one, but the Korean boy can’t resist.) “That’s not something you’ve to worry about. Not now, at least. We’ve got exams. I need to get A-plus, you need to get B-minus to the very least.”

Jongin punches Kris’ forearm, hard. “Fuck you, nerd.”

“Fuck me, all right. But, if you keep failing those extras and Chem, you’ll get fucked. By life.”

“You have to help me, though. I hate those extras.”

“I’ve got you.”

***

It’s too early to be worrying, Jongin decides and gets down his bed. Yifan is already showering and singing. _ Let's have a deep ass conversation there. _

He takes his towel and boxers from the corner of his room and opens the shower’s door. It’s unlocked, as always.

“You’re late, I’m already at the second part.” Yifan chuckles, he is completely naked, he doesn’t even use the shower curtain. Jongin has a hard time in trying not to stare at his beautiful body. He just shrugs and throws his towel and boxer on the pipe, next to Kris’ and makes himself comfortable on the sink.

Jongin is not in the mood to brush today. He picks on his t-shirt and asks, “Which song were you singing.”

“Would I be obvious if I said a break-up song?”

Jongin frowns. “You miss Tao.”

“Yeah,” Yifan laughs. “He was cute when he joined me in the shower. His ass was cuter.”

“I could join,” He gulps, telling his heart to quit fluttering. “I mean, my ass  _ is  _ cuter.”

“Your ass is firm and round, like a bun, agreed. But, Tao’s was perky. Like... like, uh, like a perfect ass.”

Jongin fakes a disappointed tut. “Wu Yifan, why are you materializing people’s asses like this. I’m so disappointed. Anyway, which song?”

“ _ Beautiful Goodbye _ by G. Soul.”

“Sounds sad.”

“It is. We’re like soulmates, you know?” Yifan stops the shower and steps out, takes the towel and smiles sadly.  _ “A beautiful goodbye, for what we had was nothing, but a beautiful goodbye.” _

***

Kyungsoo texts him the timetable for their up coming final exams, it’s three months away, and they get their timetables a month before, so it only means that Kyungsoo managed to get the timetable from the janitor, he’s good with everyone after all.

When he finishes reading the timetable, sending it to Kris with a ‘only our group’ below it, thoughts are poured into his mind.

There are only three months to confess, it means. Three or less, considering they’ll be doing their best this exam to get above their normal grades. They will be doing group studies, studying by themselves in the library or dorms, and they are going to spend more time studying and doing things which will help their grades increase.

Now, the first two scenes which played in his mind last night seem more likely to happen. Either no proposal, or bad results to it. Jongin wants neither.

He dials Kyungsoo’s number. It rings thrice before the calming voice echoes through the phone.  _ “Hey Jongin.” _

“Um, hey, Soo. Did I disturb you?”

_ “No- uh, yeah, sort of. But, wow, Kim Jongin’s caring about disturbing someone who isn’t Kris. What’s up?” _

“Shut up. I need you to come over for an hour or so? Please?”

There is a soft moan, Jongin almost drops phone from horror.  _ “Umm, I’ll be there in a few-” _

_ “In a few hours.” _ It’s Baekhyun’s voice.  _ “He’ll be there in two-three hours, Jonginie.” _

“Okay, use protection even if either of you can’t get pregnant. There are STDs and STIs.” He hangs up before Baekhyun can make a sassy remark, and sighs.

Involuntarily, his thoughts take liberty to branch out. They go everywhere, from the best thing which could happen if he manages to confess, if he doesn’t, if he does and it goes wrong. Everything.

However, having a pessimistic mind, he leans more towards the negative ones.

There are many scenes playing in his mind, he knows most of them are irrational but he can’t help but wonder  _ what if _ . It’s just anxiety getting the best of him, but can’t stop them without any external source talking them out. Kyungsoo, the external source, is busy hooking up with his new boyfriend.

His heart starts beating in his ears, tears sting in his eyes, he wants to curl up cry. It’s probably the most silly thing to cry about, but he doesn’t care right now. He wants to cry, he wants someone to hold him while he cries his eyes out.

The door clicks up, Yifan enters the room and spots Jongin on his bed, pouting and lips quivering. Kris is wearing his favorite turtleneck. He usually wears that on dates, it adds a handful of more stones in the tanned boy’s stomach. He lets out a sob.

Yifan shuffles close to the bed, climbs up and sits in front of his best friend, arms wide and welcoming.

Jongin dives into a hug, sobs breaking into loud crying. His stomach is very heavy, heart is twisting, tears roll down on his cheeks, there is a lump in his throat when he tries to speak.

Yifan lies down on his back, arms around Jongin’s waist, their legs tangle, and he whispers, “Is it about last night?”

Jongin nods.

“ _ Dumb _ ass.”

Jongin chuckles and punches his best friend’s chest. “Nerdy shit.”

After a few minutes, Jongin stops crying, but Yifan still holds him, one hand on Jongin’s ass and another right above it. They both know the ass is the best place to rest one’s hand while lying down, and it probably is the most common thing they do. Jongin wriggles a little lower, resting his head on Kris’ chest, arms on both sides of the tall body and eyes red.

“Spill it,” Yifan says, squeezes Jongin’s ass for fun and pats his back. “We’ve got the whole night.”

“First, it’s afternoon right now,” Jongin chuckles, “And, it’s nothing special. The same as last night, but I guess I got carried away.” 

“I shall repeat myself: spill it, we’ve got the whole afternoon and evening, and night.”

Jongin takes a deep breath. “We’ve got our finals in three months.”

“We do.”

“And then we’ll go different ways.”

“Correct, ten outta ten, Jongin.”

There is a moment of silence between them, it’s harder than Jongin thought. He was expecting the words to slip his mouth like butter, but they’re stuck in his throat, forming a lump which might break into sobs again. He sighs. “I... have to tell you something? It’s serious.”

Kris hums, “I’m listening. Swear, no interruptions.”

“It’s very cliche, I’m warning. It’s probably the most mainstream thing in the whole world, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, maybe from the moment I we entered this high school, or much before, but I started noticing three years ago and I’ve been feeling this for my whole life but I know that now and-”

“Get to the point, Jonginie. I won’t run away.” The nickname is gross, but the tanned boy will never admit that he likes it.

“I... am- I kno-  _ ugh _ ,” Jongin groans, “I l-li-like you.”

“Dude, I  _ love _ you-”

“No! I like you, in a romantic way, Kris. Fuck, I maybe  _ love _ you too, puppy love or not. I’ve been for three years and... I just, I like you a lot. And I kind of want you to be- oh God, this is awkward- can we... um, can we go out? Like, date?”

“Jongin, I love you-”

The said boy grunts. “I’m saying in a romantic sense, you ass!”

“Who the  _ fuck _ said I wasn’t?!” Yifan yells.

“You could’ve said yes first!”

“I wanted to make a romantic speech like you did! That’s not fair if you alone get to do that!”

Jongin laughs loudly, “The world’s not fair.”

The words kind of punch Jongin in the gut, in a good way. He feels his stomach stirring, he’s dizzy, his heart dropped into a pit for a second, he wants to kiss Yifan, and thank him for not reacting in a bad way, and probably even make-out with him right then and there. Hands roaming everywhere,  _ searching _ , albeit they know the places by heart. Lips moving against each other’s instead of screaming feelings. Bodies flushing together, pink dusted on their cheeks, he’d definitely stop to take a moment and look at the tall boy. Blushing Yifan is the prettiest of all.

“Don’t get philosophical and let me make my speech,” Kris’ presses a open-mouthed kiss on Jongin’s forehead, and winks in a teasing way. “I love you, too, okay? In a romantic way. I don’t know how to explain it, but I love you, too. And yeah, I’ll be your boyfriend.”

Jongin grins smugly, nuzzles his nose against Yifan’s collarbone. “Mine was longer.”

“Is this a competition?” Yifan laughs. “Wait, since you’re my boyfriend now, does that mean you’ll call me Fanfan?”

Jongin makes a face. “As long as you don’t get turned on, yeah.”

“Oh my God, I have a  _ boyfriend _ . My boyfriend is also my best friend, shit, Jjongie, we’re basically married!”

“I want to adopt more puppies. My babies need more brothers.”

Yifan looks at him with disbelief. “I’m saying we’re unofficially  _ married _ .”

“And I’m saying,” Jongin smirks, “that my three puppies at home need more brothers. We should adopt more, they’ll be our children.”

***

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun give weird reactions to them when they announce that they’re official. They grunt out a  _ ‘finally, both of you, finally’ _ and congratulate them. Baekhyun says he’s been waiting for it. Yifan gives them a weird look while Jongin is confused.

They clink their glasses, Yifan and Jongin are cuddled up on the couch, Kyungsoo sits on the love-seat with Baekhyun on his lap. Kyungsoo is smiling. “You guys were already so domestic, I swear I’ll kick your asses if you get any grosser.”

Baekhyun nods, “Yep.”

“Best friends  _ are _ domestic,” Yifan argues, “It’d be weird if they weren’t. At least when things get emotional.”

“The former is debateable. I mean, look at me and Junmyeon-hyung. We’re not lovey-dovey even when we’re drunk. I literally kick his ass when I’m drunk, and he tells me I’m the ugliest person in the whole world.. And we definitely do not say, ‘hey, you can make out with me right now’ to each other, drunk or not. Even if we did, we don’t think of doing so. Unless it’s a dare, you know. At least it’s not between guys I know of.”

Jongin throws a death glare to Kyungsoo, who mouths a ‘sorry’ and winks. As if that will help anything. It was supposed to be a  _ secret _ .

“You considered it?” Yifan asks, clearly amused.

“Well,” Jongin rubs his nape, his ears burn from embarrassment. “I  _ was _ tipsy, and- okay. Okay, yeah, I did consider it.”

Kris leans in a little, their lips inches away, and foreheads connected. His voice comes in a whisper. “Should’ve accepted it, baby.”

Jongin considers it, again; but he’s painfully aware of his friends in the same room and their eyes on them. Ignoring his burning neck and cheeks, he grins a little and pecks Yifan’s nose. “Good try, Fanfan, but you gotta be more sexy.”

His best friend pouts. “We’ve eaten three boxes of pizza each, naked, on our bed. You know how fat my belly was before I got six packs, and even watched my Belly Show - you drew that face on my stomach, dude. I don’t think I can ever be sexy enough to turn you on.”

“Oh my gosh, really?” Kyungsoo laughs, “Your sex life will be non-existent, I can already see it.”

“I don’t think we need sex for a good relationship, to be honest.” Jongin doesn’t realize that it’s indirectly cheesy until Baekhyun, Yifan and Kyungsoo, all together gag loudly. 

He was half-expecting some teasing from the couple, but they leave saying Kyungsoo has to tutor Baekhyun for psychology after a few minutes. They’re a weird couple, when one thinks of it: Baekhyun is loud and likes to bunk classes, he rarely studies (gets a good grade nonetheless) and is all about making-out or sex. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, prefers not to talk much, attends every class, studies a lot even if there aren’t any exams, and he thinks holding hands is the best of all.

Thinking about those differences between Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, Jongin looks at Kris and finds him slayed on the couch, smiling lazily at him. He smiles back.

Yifan and him are weird, too. They’re best friends, Jongin has been in love with Yifan for three years minimum; Jongin likes walking into his best friend when he’s showering and singing some Chinese ballad, Yifan likes invading his personal space by spooning him from back at night; Yifan has many exes, Jongin only has one.

He doesn’t understand why he fell for that lazy ass, he’s charming, handsome, (tries to be) cool, and all that external is fine, that’s understandable. But, Kris is not actually Jongin’s ideal type of person. He is a dork, he likes to get drunk a day before he can legally do it, he hiccups in an unattractive way after first five mild drinks, he vomits if he eats anything before 8 am and he’s a huge teddy bear with a resting bitch-face.

Smiling Yifan, Drunk Yifan, Blushing Yifan, all kinds of him makes Jongin’s dumb heart flutter. Something tickles his insides when he sees his best friend, in the worst situation: Drunk, crying about his imaginary puppy, vomit on his legs, and snot pooled on his upper lip.

Maybe this is puppy love, or unconditional love, Jongin thinks,  _ but it still is love. _

***

When Yifan goes to shower in the morning, Jongin is hit with a realization: His boyfriend is still not over his ex. Not completely, at least. It’s dumb to think, but Jongin still does, with such great gift as over-thinking, how can he not?

What if, when they’re about to get legally married, Tao shows up, and Yifan is still not over him? What if Tao shows up right now, out of blue and confesses to Yifan again? What if Yifan breaks-up with him because they’ve been dating for only two days till now? What if-

“Jongin, I miss you,” Yifan yells from the shower. “Join me!”

The said male is froze in his place for a second, but he moves, taking a towel and goes into the shower. He doesn’t notice he’s locked the door till Yifan chuckles. “Ooh, are we having shower sex right now?”

Jongin is caught off guard for a second before he realizes. “H-huh? Oh, nah, you’re not sexy enough.”

Yifan sighs in a dreamy manner. “When will I be sexy enough for my boyfriend? Dear God, if you’re listening: it’s me, your dear, dear Yifan-”

“Will God recognize his innocent Kris now? After the amount of sex jokes you’ve made?”

“- who seeks something from you. If you’re not listening: what the fuck, God? I’m praying in the shower for this, how could you not?”

Jongin laughs, loudly, hiccupping a little. “Fucking weirdo.”

“Yes, yes,” Kris makes a kissy face. “I love you, too, Jjongie. C’mere, give your boyfriend a kiss.”

“You sound like my mom.” Jongin says, but he gets into the shower anyway, without stripping. He hesitantly looks at Yifan, who is watching him with fondness, his black hair matting against his forehead, making his eyes more beautiful. “Had to ask you something.”

Yifan doesn’t answer, he takes Jongin’s wrist and pulls him close - trying to be romantic, or trying to make him wet. Either way, it’s working in increasing his heartbeat. He feels the wet drops fall on his t-shirt and seep through it, he sighs. “It’s important.”

“Shoot, babe.”

“If- when- would you-” Jongin takes a deep breath, then continues. “If Tao were to come now, and say he wants you back, would you leave me? Would you break up with me?”

Yifan is taken aback, he looks at him with confusion. “Why would I-”

“You aren’t over Tao yet, are you? You were missing him a few days ago, and it’s obviously impossible to get over someone, especially someone like him, right? You guys were so good together, you were- you were like- like  _ soulmates _ , Yifan. And-”

Yifan’s forefinger pressed against his lips, he stops babbling and sighs. Kris cups his cheek, squeezing them a little. “Shh, listen to me, Jjongie. Yeah, I’m not completely over him yet, I still miss him, but that doesn’t mean if he randomly shows up - which I doubt - and says he wants me back, I would reject him, you know why? Because we’ve closed the deal. I didn’t run to the airport and kiss him for nothing.”

Yifan changes their position, Jongin keeps getting wetter and his clothes get heavier, but he’s too into Yifan’s speech. (Also secretly staring at his pink lips.) “It was the last, you know? I told him even if he’d want to, we would never get back, because I don’t like doing it again. Giving the relationship another shot-”

“So if something happens-”

“Stop overworking your brain so much. You know I don’t like dating the same person twice. Either we break up and stay friends, or we marry.”

Jongin, now, feels dumb for thinking that. He looks at Yifan again, he’s smirking handsomely, his wet hair matted against his forehead and stirring some liquid in the younger’s stomach. “We better marry, or I’ll die and my ghost with haunt the shit out of your husbands.”

“ _ Husbands _ ?”

Yifan’s smirk drops. “Don’t tell me you’re bisexual and want wives too, now. You can’t just suddenly come out to me like this. I’ll hate you.”

“No, it’s the plural which caught me off guard.”

They share a sweet smile (it makes the shorter a little dizzy for unknown reason), before Jongin realizes they’re staring without blinking - not much, at least - and if his non-existent calculations are correct, they’ll finally kiss.

Jongin leans a little, eager, and closes his eyes. His heartbeat is fast again, stomach stirring with excitement, a lump in his throat. Yifan doesn’t move, though. Jongin feels the long hands cup his cheeks, warm despite their wetness. Kris whispers. “Are you sure you want our kiss to be  _ here _ ? Not somewhere more  _ romantic _ ?”

Tanned boy’s mouth breaks into a small smile. He raises himself on his toes, muttering under his breath. “Shut up and kiss me.”

“Sounds like some cliche climax of a romcom, I say.” The Chinese jokes, but they finally kiss.  _ Finally _ .

Yifan’s lips have toothpaste’s mint flavour, they’re soft and wet, the taller softly sucks on Jongin’s lips and it makes Jongin’s cock a little heavy and twitch excitedly. He puckers his lips and Kris licks them, sliding his tongue between his Jongin’s lips and licking the roof of his mouth,it makes the tanned boy moans (watching someone do this is gross, but the way his lips jiggle at the lick, the ticklish feeling in his mouth as well as the arousal twisting in his cock makes it much better, Jongin understands why people like making out so much).

It feels like it’s been years of yearning. After years of yearning, wanting to be in this situation, they’re finally. at peace even though it lasts for seconds. Wanting to be with Wu Yifan his boyfriend and not just best friend. It’s their first kiss. Together. They never got drunk enough to cross the line and kiss, or have sex. They focused on the third person during their first (and last) threesome. Their rebellious acts involved crossing others’ borders, not their own.

_ But, right now, there isn’t any alcohol, no third person, no ‘others’ _ , Jongin thinks. _ Just us. _

They part, both breathless, and Jongin has never seen Kris so...  _ beautiful _ . His hair is still matted, but the smile he offers is calming and makes his heart flutter, his lips are little swollen, now a darker shade of pink, Yifan’s tongue darts out and his bottom lip is sucked between his teeth, corner of his lips lifted upwards.

Jongin has to take another deep breath. The taller laughs. “I’m a great kisser, I know.”

“Kyungsoo was better.” He lies. They never kissed much, and the times they did, it was awkward and neither of them were ever really to the point to be called a good kisser, let alone a kisser.

“You guys were so bad I had to walk out of the room, Jongin. Your lies are getting worse everyday.” Yifan chuckles, “Also, there is no use of comparing me and Kyungsoo. You’re whipped for me.  _ Whipped _ .”

Jongin whines a little, but he knows it’s true.

***

Jongin feels horrible for saying those words the next morning. He shouldn’t have had compared, or even thought about Kyungsoo, but he didn’t pay attention, he is used to saying something contrary, and thinking about it, he realizes how fucking toxic that is.

All the way to his classes, Yifan keeps smiling and Jongin feels more thorns shoved into his throat. Suddenly, everything feels too much. His feelings, his body, those thorns he deserves, his voice, his classmates, the noise they make, everything.

He glances at Kris, he’s listening to Yixing chatter in Chinese about some flower he discovered about while back home, he wants to reach out and hold his boyfriend, but... what if he disappears? Not physically, what if he’ll see Jongin reaching out and- and slap his hand away? Because he finally doesn’t take what he said earlier as joke and is bitter and disgusted?

He catches Yifan’s eyes and looks away, tears cover his vision and make it blurry.

A hand touches his shoulder, he wants to sink in the warmth of it, in the familiarity of it, but it also makes his breakfast squeeze back up into his throat. Yifan sounds very concerned. “Are you okay?”

Not trusting his voice, Jongin shakes his head.

“Do you want me to talk?”

He nods and Yifan talks. About the up coming exams, and the topic lifts some thorns, Jongin says something time to time, their professor is absent (and this substitute is out to get something), they talk about what might have happened to him and finally, Jongin feels better. Not thinking too much, but enough.

The substitute enters with papers in her hand, many groan but Yifan looks excited, like he knows what is that. “Professor Lee is sick but, he has sent me your last assignment for this year.”

The assignment turns out to be a small debate, the substitute tells them that Professor Lee has already made groups with four people and when she announces the groups, Yifan isn’t paying attention to it but grinning widely at Jongin.

Once the groups are announced, it turns out that Jongin, Yixing, Kris and Changmin are in the same group, and the topic is Music is Beneficial to Students Mentally. According to Yifan, some other group has got it’s how it can harm mentally.

“You’ll be given marks and grades equally, but extra points if you win the debate. Also, it will be held next week.”

Jongin doesn’t understand why Yifan is looking forward to the debate when he hates them.

***

“You  _ hate _ debates.” Jongin points out.

They’re in Yixing’s dorm, sitting on the floor with notepads, Changmin is yet to come and Yixing is finishing up his bit of Music paper on his desk. Yifan shrugs, “Yeah, I couldn’t make him change the assignment. So I asked Hyorin to change our topic. Music is much, much better than Environment Pollution, we’ve been writing essays on that topic since  _ elementary _ . Professor is too old to remember those many topics anyway.”

“Oh, all right, I guess.”

Jongin wants to say something more, but he doesn’t have any words. The silence between them is a little bothersome.

“What were you thinking during the first class?” Yifan asks suddenly. Jongin isn’t sure if he’s happy about the broken silence or afraid of the asked question.

He decides to spill it anyway, the longer it stays, the more it’ll hurt. “I felt bad. Horrible, actually, for- I shouldn’t have had compared you and Kyungsoo yesterday. I always do that. I always say something contrary to what you say or do and I realized how bad- how much of toxic that is, you know? I’m supposed to make you feel better, make you happy but I say such things and it probably hurts you a lot, and I don’t even-”

“Woah, woah, slow down, buddy.” Yifan slaps his arm, hard. It stings. “There, that’s what you get for comparing me and Kyungsoo, okay? And no, Jongin, I don’t feel bad when you say that, it’s fun. You can’t make me happy every time, I can’t make you happy every time. Happiness is an emotion, not a choice. It’s okay, you know we’ll talk out everything, calm down.”

Jongin feels lighter, as if he could fly if Yifan’s hand wasn’t on his ankle. He grins, “Smartass. I love you. Damn, I should’ve written that down.”

“Don’t act like you don’t say equally smart thing when I’m like this, Jjongie. I love you too, more than you do.”

Jongin brings his fists in front of his face. “I love you more, that’s final. FIGHT ME IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE.”

“OH YEAH?” Yifan shouts back, “WELL, I WILL FIGHT YOU, TOO. CUDDLE FIGHT, LET’S SEE WHO CUDDLES BETTER! BRING. IT. ON! LOSER!”

Yixing’s whining for them to shut up is their background music.


End file.
